i am just sitting here. checking on him every 5 minutes. i can't even read the comments on the last post. i am just crying. for him and for me. last night the matriarch of our community (she;s 86) held me and i told her that he is all the family i have in the world, that he is EVERYTHING tp me. and she told me, that no, i have all of them now. i have the community. and i told her that he is my life. and she told me that she lost her husband when she was 36...with 8 children...and she never re-married....
i can't live like that! i love my husband too much. i have had a few internet friends tell me that i am making too big a deal out of something so simple. but my husband lies bleeding in his bed. his pillow is covered in blood still. after 12 stitches!
and i must, must, must take better care of him! i have not been a good helpmate. i should have never let him get in that situation! i must never let it happen again!
i keep walking from the kitchen, with dirty dishes, to the bedroom to check on him, to the bathroom - to make sure all of the gauze and tensor bandages and the alcohol and stuff is ready, to the phone to call the hospital, to the computer room to write a stupid post!
i am so tired. but i am so afraid to go to sleep.