Sunday, October 23, 2011

i don't even know what to do with myself

i am just sitting here. checking on him every 5 minutes. i can't even read the comments on the last post. i am just crying. for him and for me. last night the matriarch of our community (she;s 86) held me and i told her that he is all the family i have in the world, that he is EVERYTHING tp me. and she told me, that no, i have all of them now. i have the community. and i told her that he is my life. and she told me that she lost her husband when she was 36...with 8 children...and she never re-married....

i can't live like that! i love my husband too much. i have had a few internet friends tell me that i am making too big a deal out of something so simple. but my husband lies bleeding in his bed. his pillow is covered in blood still. after 12 stitches!

and i must, must, must take better care of him! i have not been a good helpmate. i should have never let him get in that situation! i must never let it happen again!

i keep walking from the kitchen, with dirty dishes, to the bedroom to check on him, to the bathroom - to make sure all of the gauze and tensor bandages and the alcohol and stuff is ready, to the phone to call the hospital, to the computer room to write a stupid post!

i am so tired. but i am so afraid to go to sleep.


  1. Did the hospital say anything about making sure you can wake him up periodically?

    Don't beat yourself up.

  2. I think all of us are ready and willing to come up and help at a drop of a hat. However, logistically, if we all came up, it would be considered an invasionary force, and we would have to annex your island to the US, as we would outnumber the natives. And we wouldn't leave until whoever did this to jambaloney was eating through a straw.

    I hope he recovers fast so you can fall asleep with him for a few hours.

  3. Please, please try to get some rest. You will need to be strong when he wakes up!! ....and yes, what Matt asked ^^

  4. I am praying for you my friend...and for your handsome sweetie. I wish I was there with you and could help out with you both.

    Don't forget head wound bleeds lots. Please check with the hospital staff as most hospitals have on call nurses to field questions etc. On the hospital paperwork you may actually have some info...and call as much as you need to to reassure yourself and to ensure all is well.

    Write away as this is a way we all are praying...and I so understand my friend about your love, and it is precious and extremely rare. Hugs to you both.

    ps I am rambling too as you can tell. I feel like my hands are tied...dang I wish I could be there.

  5. Wow I am forced offline for a few days and you guys go and start picking fights? Never turn your back on anyone in a situation like that.

    I hope Jambe heals up quickly and I am sure you will be johnny on the spot with any needs he may have.

    On the brightside it was a valuable learning experience for both of you I imagine. You will be in my thoughts and wishes for speedy recovery.

    Hang in there Kymber!!!

  6. I woke up to read some news from you, and I hear this... I am so shocked and mad as hell !

    Kymber, if the hospital there has cleared him to have gone home, I'm really hoping they know their business. If you feel at all uncomfortable with providing Jam the best of care right now... don't feel bad. You love him deeply ... we all know that.

    In my humble opinion, maybe he should have been kept in hospital for observation to make totally sure there are no underlying complications. I don't want to panic you, but if you feel overwhelmed and unsure about this and that ... just consider taking him to hospital where you can sit with your man holding his loving hand while he recovers.

    It may be best to ere on the side of caution with multiple injuries... take the burden of worry off yourself ... a thought my friend. I pray for the both of you and I'm so incredibly sorry this act of violence happened to you two special people.

    I'm here if you need anything. Jam Will be okay Kymber ... xoxoxo

  7. I keep several packs of Quickclot in my med bag...should I ship some? He'll be fine, kymber, really he

  8. kymber,
    What you are describing about yourself is a state of shock. You are probably mentally worse off than jambaloney is physically. Find something to help you sleep. You need it. If he lost consciousness for even a few moments, down here, he would be confined to the hospital overnight IF he has insurance. Lacking insurance in the US usually means you are sent home. I am not sure how it is in Canada.

    You need sleep more than the dishes need washing.

    The woman with eight children, widowed so young, at least had children. She had a focus and reason to do the dishes and get up every day. If you would be all alone, I can see how your situation would be more traumatic.

    I feel like you think you failed to keep him safe. Please don't think that you are so responsible. In other matters, this may be true. Unfortunately, there was nothing you could have done in this instance.

    Am I to understand that the guy who hit him was the hothead son of a friend?

    Take care of yourself so that you will be able to take care of him.

  9. jambaloney again:

    MAN you people are something else, your concern blows my mind!! kymber is till sleeping thank god!


    i got a full 8 hours, fell like shit, but okay, not a thing on the head trauma list is happening to me - gonna be okay!


    save the invasion for when you all come here to enjoy our piece of heaven, the virtual invasion has been support enough buddy!


    It seems like she is getting some rest, i hope to have the dishes done when she wakes up ;-) thank you!


    thank you, but the swelling is going down. god you have enough on your plate to worry about, i am gonna be fine - yo are too sweet!

    Pioneer Preppey:

    sorry about that, we`ll try to behave better ;-)
    all the thoughts and pryers have done wonders, i should be a lot worse than i am. feel like 88 trucks ran over me, but on my feet - thanks!
    i`ll never turn my back again, just didn`t occur to me that someone would be, as Warlock put it, that much of a coward.

    I have never been in a fight, never even thrown a punch. STILL have never thrown a punch ;-)

    thanks my friend!


    The hospital checked and checked - i was doing well and i just wanted to get home. i am a tough cookie and thick-boned so i am good, hurt like hell mind you, but good.

    thank you for caring for kymbers worries so much, i really appreciate it! thank you!


    thank you for the offer, but i am blessed with a body that swells like nobodies business initially that then rapidly takes the swelling back into itself and stops the hemorrhaging. the swelling and bleeding is almost gone.

    thank you so much for you offer - your concern is wonderful as are you!

  10. jambaloney, I'm glad to hear that you're up and that kymber is sleeping. Take care of her as best you can; it may be even harder than taking care of yourself, since her wounds aren't physical.

  11. I just got caught up on my blog reading and was blown away. Wow, how quick a fun time can turn on you. I guess it goes to say, "It's all fun and games till someone gets hurt".
    Glad you made it through.
    Did you ever find out who sucker punched you? Being that everyone was in costumes, was it Batman, Superman or Wonder Woman? I heard she packs a huge punch. LOL
    Glad to hear all is good.

  12. I usually operate under the assumption that it is best to make sure you give out enough damage that there won't be any thought of a rematch. But in these team effort kinda things that doesn't really apply.

    Heal up fast my friend.

  13. Kymber, I understand your worry and fears. Hubby had a heart attack at age 46 (heart problems run in his family) and I just didn't think I would ever "feel normal" again. But I had to learn to put my trust in God that He was in control and knew more about what was best for us than we did. It is NOT an easy thing to do - in fact, it is a continual process. But I don't freak out quite as much now.
    The Anonymous Homesteader