Monday, October 8, 2012

a sad update to my Thanksgiving post




i felt that this sky pic was appropriate for this post. i will get to the sad stuff in a minute as there is much fun and nice stuff to tell first. plus i want to explain it all chronologically as it happened.

we went to our friends' C&B's house on saturday evening. as we walked in the door we were met with hugs and the delicious smell of turkey and all of the fixings - it smelled delicious!!! their children S and D were there, along with S's new boyfriend T who had us in fits of laughter all evening long. at one point i said "my goodness, he's priceless"! without skipping a beat, T points at me and says "she says priceless" and then points at S and says "she says worthless - i'm confused". like i say, he had us in fits. we love C&B's kids, they are really good kids!!! as is T!!!

so we wolfed down plates of delicious food - they put on a real nice spread for us. and of course, C made sure to pick up my favourite wine. we sat around the table eating, chatting and laughing - is there a better way to spend Thanksgiving?

then we went to the bake sale that was being held to benefit a girl in our community - she is taking pre-vet courses and will be going to South Africa to volunteer at a clinic. we all purchased some delicious baked goods then it was back to C&B's to get ready for the dance - woohoo! we were all excited. except that B hadn't been feeling well all day but was putting out great effort - we could tell that he was tired. so after a glass of wine and a few drinks for the others we were off to the dance. the dance was to raise money for the young girl going to South Africa as well. the regular crew was there and everyone was having a fantastic time. B still wasn't feeling well so he went home early. the rest of us all danced and sang and before we knew it, it was 1am in the morning.

and then the emergency happened. we found out later that the head of our Fourchu EMT had been called out to a house in the community where 3 older ladies lived. they had been to the dance but had left when one of them wasn't feeling well. they arrived home and when the lady still didn't feel well, they called down to the dance to ask for R to come and check on her. when R arrived, the lady (G) was feeling gassy and burping, but she told R that she was feeling much better and that she was sorry for bothering R. R of course recommended that her sisters take her to the emergency just to be safe, but G refused.

so at 2am when the party was winding down, we saw our friend D (R's husband) running out the door without saying goodbye to anyone, he jumped in his truck and sped out of the parking lot like a mad man. we knew that something must be up, and of course we thought it had something to do with R. so we rushed out and jumped in our truck and followed him to his driveway where we met back up with B. B explained that an emergency call had come over our beepers, waking him out of bed and calling D. the address that came over the beeper was scrambled - but B and D guessed that it was G who had called the dance hall previously. we all rushed out to that house and sure enough, we were in the right place.

R, D and i ran into the bedroom and G was on the floor. R started barking orders, immediately set up the CPR machine, and began CPR. D got out the oxygen tank, i got out the mask and we put the tank together and put the mask on G. R performed 2 mins of CPR at a time, as advised by the machine, 3 times. if you have never performed CPR on a live-person for 2 mins at a time - trust me, it is not easy. and R has a bad back and hip. but she was a trooper!

at that point our 2 other trained EMT members arrived - S and In. S jumped in to relieve R on CPR and In took over setting up the blood pressure machine. they had me hold the oxygen mask. S did two 2minute turns on CPR and then said - get in there kymber! so i jumped in and performed 2 rounds of CPR. S took over for another 2 mins and at that point the ambulance arrived. once they came in, they took over and we all went out into the kitchen to comfort the ladies. jambaloney made me so proud - i asked the ladies if there was anything i could get them and they said no, that jambaloney had already asked them that about 10 times. so we went outside and one of the ladies came with us. there was a group of other people in the yard. then D came to the door and asked the lady to come back in the house. then jambaloney and i went in and were told that we had lost G.

i had been holding in my tears up to that point but then they started rolling down my face - all of us had tears rolling but not really crying. the ambulance driver then spent the next hour and half asking questions of G's sisters while we all waited for the RCMP to show up. we had expected that the ambulance would take G with them but that is not how it works here. the ambulance driver called in to the Medical Examiner in Sydney, they dispatched the RCMP, then we had to wait for the RCMP to get there and assure there was no foul play or anything like that, then the RCMP would call the Medical Examiner who would then send out a different ambulance to pick up G. our friend B said that he would stay with the ladies until the second ambulance came. we found out later that the ambulance didn't come until 7:30 in the morning and B stayed with the ladies until then.

we got home at about 4am and we felt that we had been run over by a tank. we had had such a good day, such a good supper at our friends' house and such a good time at the dance. we sat at the table and talked and cried, jambaloney finally had to go to sleep at 6am...i came up to the computer and read all of the blog updates on our blogroll. thank you all for your blogs. i didn't leave any comments, i was just too shaken. i have never performed CPR on a live person before and i have never been in that situation before. neither had jambaloney. we were shooken up and it really hurts to lose someone when everyone is trying so hard to save them. our EMT members did a fantastic job - we were very proud of them!

but i was able to calm myself by catching up on all of your posts...it gave me a sense of normalcy that i needed before i could go to sleep. i finally went to bed at about a quarter to 8...and we both got up at about 1pm. we were hurting. and sad. we didn't know the lady very well, but we had met her and her sisters at several events over the past year and a bit. we felt sad for our friends who had tried so hard to revive her. we felt sad for our friends because the whole community of Fourchu is a very close community.

however, that evening we went to our friends' C and G's house for Thanksgiving supper with their family which includes our good friends E, V, C, B, D and E's kids JD, N, and H, as well as JD's boyfriend S and H's girlfriend J. i will tell you all about the fantastic time that we had in tomorrow's update. it was just so nice to be surrounded by a large group of people, all of whom are related (well not the boyfriends and girlfriends, of course!) - but it was so nice to be surrounded by a large family after the previous evening's sad events - a family that always treats us as one of theirs. we needed that.

being surrounded by them after the sadness of the night before reminded me of the cycle of life, reminded me to be thankful and grateful to be home, here on my island, to be thankful that we have been accepted the way that we have in our community, to be thankful for the wonder and beauty in the environment, to be be thankful and grateful for the caliber of the people who live here, who invite us into their communities, their houses and their families. we are so grateful.

and we are grateful for the beautiful and supportive friendships that we have made here on this blog and on your blogs.



now you didn't really think i could write a post and not include a sky pic for my dearest Helga?!?!?!!? jeesh!

we have had 2 Thanksgiving Day dinners with our friends and tonight we are going to our other friends S&D's house for their daughter's birthday party. this has been an awe-inspiring thanksgiving weekend for us and we have both been touched.

i hope that all is well with all of you wherever your little corner of the world is.

50 comments:

  1. With every blessing comes reminders as how fleeting life can be. I'm glad you were there to help. You are lucky to have such a community.

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    1. Brigid - it was quite a reminder for jambaloney and i - neither of us have ever experience anything like it and we certainly learned a few lessons. we were very glad to be there to help our friends - they handled the situation like professionals and these are just ordinary, absolutely extraordinary folk who live in our 2 sister communities. if anything happens to one of us - they will be in charge of taking care of us and we couldn't hand-pick better people. plus they have been so welcoming to us. we know how fortunate we are. thank you for recognizing that.

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. the rat

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    1. Mr. Rat...thank you. it wasn't easy but it is the cycle of life. and we were glad to be among such amazing friends during the experience. thank you.

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  3. Sorry for the loss. It is never easy. I spent many years as an EMT, and doesn't make any difference whether you know them or not. A loss is a loss. I am sure you held well and performed well in an adverse condition.

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    1. johnnyb - thanks for your understanding. EMT work is certainly not for the faint of heart and i am glad that you saved as many lives as you did. our community is getting older and we need trained EMT's. i think jambaloney and i are going to volunteer to do the course. there just aren't enough of us trained to know what to do. and our community needs us. thank you again for your understanding - it means alot.

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  4. Aww that is sad news, I'm so sorry. It makes you realise how much we should cherish each day.

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    1. thanks Joey buddy - it really does make you realize how we should cherish every single moment. thank you.

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  5. Life has such ways of reminding us it can be that sudden and fleeting. I am just so glad it was not closer to you than it was. I know how hard it was, just remember John Saxe's words on such things:

    When skies are blue,
    Expect a cloud,
    In darkness, wait the coming light,

    Whatever be thy fate today, Remember,
    This will pass away.

    Hugs to you both.

    Winston

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    1. Winston - we just got a good screech out of your email - bahahahahah! thank you for your kind words, and yes, the lady G was known very well by all of the Fourchu community, we didn't know her very well at all but it doesn't matter - our friends knew her and we are sorry for our friends' sadness and loss. thank you for John Saxe's words...they are beautiful and comforting. cycle of life eh? hugs back from both of us!

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  6. Sorry to hear you guys lost a friend. Sad times :(

    From your first Thanks Giving dinner I was able to calculate

    (C+B) = (S)/T(D)
    CB(S+D) = T
    S = T(-0)
    But I am confused is T a negative or a positive?


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    1. PP - sad and happy times which makes it even more confusing. we spent the last 3 days with different groups of wonderful friends but the loss happened right in the middle. but thank you.

      anyway, jam says he is way too tired to figure out your math. i think i figured it out but first i need to correct it. it goes like this:

      (C+B)= S/D
      CB(S)= T
      S=T

      T is a definite positive. we think he is a really bright guy and we are glad that he is S's new boyfriend...so are C and B.

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  7. My Dear Sweet Friends Kymber and Jambaloney,
    Lossing a friend or a loved one is never easy. "G" was greatful for the time she spent in this world with all of her friends, sisters and the opportunity to leave this world having one last dance.

    "G" is forever grateful to everyone sweet person in her community for attempting to bring her back into this world. Now, "G" will quietly watch over all of us as an Angel, (one of those lovely stars) above in the sky looking down every night. God Bless "G", may she rest in peace.

    As I write this post, I'm send love and hugs to the both of you.

    Your friend,
    Sandy

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    1. Sweet Sandy - she DID have one last dance and she was very loved in the community. she had a quick passing and that is the most that we can wish for anyone. she is resting in peace now. thank you Sandy and God bless you! hugs from both of us being sent back!

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  8. Gurlie-- I am so darn sorry. You know Senior and I know what its like. You were there to give us encouragement,now we offer the same to you.
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys

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    1. JUGM - what you and Senior went through was way more personal, we didn't know this lady very well but she was still a part of our sister community and we have some very good friends in Fourchu. they are the ones who are hurting and we hurt for them. i know that i can always count on yours and Senior's prayers...and i thank you both very much for that!

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  9. Sorry for the loss. Life is precious, we try and enjoy each day for all it's worth. I know you do as well, keep fighting the good fight and know you have a ton of people supporting you at all times.

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    1. Max - thank you so much. i know that you try and enjoy every day for all it's worth...as do we. thank you for that. we'll keep up the good fight as we know you will...and knowing that we have your support means the world to us. what a beautiful thing to say when we are still feeling raw. thank you buddy!

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  10. Oh darlin - I'm incredibly sorry for the loss of G. She passed in the best of ways - at home surrounded with so much love and caring. She was fortunate to have had you all with her in the end.

    You will never forget this experience, but find comfort in knowing that you live among the best of people who stop at nothing to lend a hand when needed. You did good, so good.

    Big hugs sent to you both !

    I love you sis ! Always, forever and a day ! xoxoxoxoxo

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    1. oh sis....it was like - ugh. it was awful. but yes - she passed in her own bedroom surrounded by people who cared about her and people that had been in her life for her entire life (except for me and jam). i was glad that everyone was there to see her pass and to help her sisters. sis - we really do have 2 communities of the most ordinary, extraordinary people! these people are amazing!

      i won't forget this experience and because of it, and the fact that our 2 communities are aged, jam and i feel that we need to take the EMT training so that we can add to the 5 members in our community who are trained. we need to be certified to take the weight off of the others and to help out. we feel very strongly about this.

      sis - we tried. we tried our best. and our EMT's were amazing! big hugs back from both of us. i love you always, forever and a day! xoxoxoxo

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  11. Aw, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. :(

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    1. thanks so much Kathi, we appreciate it!

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  12. I am so sorry , for the loss of your friend. No matter how many times you do CPR, in a sense it is always daunting, when we consider the stakes of what we are doing. We do what we must always knowing that in truth, the person is really in the hands of God, and always was.
    Helga says it all so beautifully. I send big hugs to you both as well. With love,

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    1. Jane you are so right and you so understand. it is such a daunting task and although i never want to repeat the experience, we feel that if we are going to properly live in this community then we need to roll up our sleeves and take the training. most of our 2 communities are made up of seniors, there aren't many younger people left. and this is causing a huge strain on our 5 trained EMTs. we need to do more than set up tables at dances and work the bake sales - we need to learn to properly respond to emergency calls and be proficiently trained because it takes over an hour for an ambulance to get here.

      i will never forget these words of yours, i find them so comforting: "We do what we must always knowing that in truth, the person is really in the hands of God, and always was."

      wow. that was powerful and even more so coming from you with the experiences that you have lived throughout your career and life. thank you Jane. you have just provided me with more impetus to get the training.

      Helga will be thrilled that you think that she wrote beautifully. she really writes beautifully and does not believe me when i tell her so. maybe she'll finally believe it coming from a heavy-weight writer like you.

      big hugs to you and yours from the both of us being sent back!

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    2. Let there not be any doubt ! Your sister Helga is quite the writer ! I hold no patent or copyright on being one. There is plenty of room out there !
      Love to you both,

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    3. Jane - Thank you so much for saying such kind words. I haven't really given much thought to my writing style, but I wish I had your ability to convey thoughts and feelings in such an articulate manner. In fact, I get nervous at the mere thought of you reading any of my ramblings ! Bahahahah !

      Take Care Jane !

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  13. I'm so sorry that you lost a friend, but I AM glad that you had your other friends to comfort you. I'll pray for all involved. Bless you.

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    1. thank you Mr. Smythe, we appreciate that! and we are glad that we were with our friends. our friends hurt a lot more than we did, and we hope that we were supportive and helpful to them during this incident. but we still hurt too, and it was a blessing to be surrounded by friends the entire time. Bless you, too, Sir. and thank you for your prayers - there are many here in our 2 communities that really need them.

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  14. Let me tell you, I have no sadness for the elderly lady. That older lady died at home instead of in a nursing home. She absolutely died instead of dying a slow, lingering death. She had a good death.

    Ny 94-year-old neighbor was 90 when her daughter said to me that her mother would not stay out of the garden, that she insisted on gardening still. I told her that I would not be said if Mrs. K fell dead in the garden, right where she wanted to be, right where she was happiest rather than sitting in a nursing home or just inside her own home.

    Unfortunately, my neighbor broke a hip and spent 7 days dying. I want to go like your elderly friend and my elderly neighbor--just drop dead.

    People (including me) cry because we feel bad about missing our friends or wanting them back. The dead are not hurting. Yes, I cried for parents, a sibling and friends who died.

    I am not unfeeling. I am happy for the manner of her death, not her death.

    Yes, I am sad for your feeling of loss and for having been drained emotionaly and physically from the experience.

    It sounds like you make the rounds for Thanksgiving, having a good time with your friends. We still have six weeks until our Thanksgiving! I can hardly wait.

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    1. PracticalP - i couldn't agree with you more! the only problem is that she wasn't an elderly lady - she was only in her mid-60's...and that is the shame. but otherwise - yes, she was at home, it was quick, her sisters were with her as was her community (minus me and jam as we are still very new and did not know her very well).

      i wish, like you, that Mrs. K could have died in her garden.

      yes, the crying and the hurting is done by the living - as the dead hurt no more. i do not think you unfeeling - quite the opposite - and i am glad that you are happy for the manner of G's death - i am too!

      you always seem to understand when certain experiences leave you emotionally and physically drained - that is exactly how we have felt since it happened. jam asked me yesterday morning if i was ok and i told him that i was numb. i don't think is going to hit me until tomorrow or the next day. yesterday we had to go to our friends' house for a family gathering - we couldn't be glum and sad as they had spent hours getting all of the food prepared and setting everything up. and today we went to our other friends' house who had a little girl celebrating her 8th birthday - we couldn't be down or blue or think about what we had just witnessed. life really DOES go on. but that is the first person that i have ever performed CPR on...and she died. it kinda sucks.

      PP - we'll be celebrating our own "at home" Thanksgiving dinner with you Americans! we had too many invites to bother making our own thanksgiving dinner. oh and we have everyone's leftovers - bahahahahahah! so when American thanksgiving rolls around - know that we will be celebrating with you! although we have had a full turkey dinner and all of the fixings for the past 3 straight days - i can't wait for American thanksgiving either - bahahahahahah!

      thanks for your insight and understanding.

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    2. Some people think a funeral and a death should be somber. Remember how the Kennedys were always out on their lawn, playing football and having a good time? That impressed me.

      Gee, that lady was my age. I am 66. Well, darn it, if I die soon, it will be time to cry. Just kidding. That elderly lady was actually young! I am not elderly...lol.

      You had to be happy at the little girl's party! It was the right thing to do.

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    3. yes PP - i am always happy when people celebrate the life of a person instead of their death. and yes, i think you get it, that lady was your age, and she, like you, was/is too beautiful to die just yet. she had been married and has kids but she is divorced for years now. all i could think as i was performing CPR on her beautiful body was that there was a man who would truly love her out there and that if she died, he would never have a chance at love and happiness. that's why i worked so hard to try and bring her back. PP - she was beautiful. like you.

      that little now 8yr old was beaming through her entire party and wearing a princess crown. and on my lap through supper, the opening of all of her presents and for the rest of the evening. i loved the feeling of her weight. her weight made up for all of the sadness. better yet, it healed a lot of it.

      thank you for your well thought out and well written comments here. i appreciate them so much.

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  15. Thoughts and hugs with you and all of her friends and family from across the miles.

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    1. thank you 1st Man...thoughts and hugs travel well no matter how many the miles.

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  16. I don't understand your comment that you've never performed CPR on a live person. It's pointless to perform it on a dead person, if they're 'good and dead'. I performed it on my mom, even though I knew it was pointless. Sad thing to find yourself doing.

    You mentioned a long time ago for me to be watching the mailbox. Whatever you sent me didn't arrive. *waaah*

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    1. lotta joy - i guess i didn't explain it right. i did First Aid training and some EMT training in the military for 10 yrs....but i never actually used that training on anyone - just on blow-up dolls named "Annie". this was my actual first "real" person. it was scary and doing CPR for 2 mins at a time was not easy. and the whole time i was doing it, all i could think was that she was too young and she looked too beautiful. that's the thing that i am having the hardest time with...she was too beautiful to die. i am sorry that you had to perform on your Mom...very sad. cee-rap - i sent you a thank you card for the beautiful pic of Helga - you didn't get it?

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  17. You two are wonderful people in so many ways. I'm very honored to have you as friends.

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Grand - had to delete my comment as it had too many typos after i had published it. sorry for that. anyway, here is my original comment edited -

      Grand - you know how we feel about you - we think that you are a wonderful friend to us and we appreciate your friendship sincerely. we are honoured to call you a friend....honoured.

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  18. you live in a good community that cares for each other well

    hope you find the inner strenght to pick up and move on

    you humans live short or long lives, tragic exist even amoungst my people, but it is part of the rules of existence we all abide by

    so celebrate life, enjoy it well, and leave good memories in your wake

    shana'de'ada

    Wildflower

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    1. Wildflower - i don't know what "shana'de'ada" means...but coming from you, i sense that it means something loving and peaceful. thank you.

      yes, we have the incredible good fortune to live in a community made up of super-humans, even though they are just human. you would fit in very well here.

      i have been made very aware of the cycle of life during this weekend. wonderful food and good times with friends, the passing of someone too young to go, a brilliant smile on an 8 yr old girl when she opened up her gifts - i have been given a strong reminder to live each day to the fullest. we humans and your kind have short lives - but i was reminded that the squirrels in our yard that we feed daily and who have names, have even shorter lives. so, too, do our cats.

      i have always tried to celebrate life, live well, give true and sincere thanks, display grace and be full of love. now i will try harder. thank you for your words.

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  19. Oh Kymber, I just saw this post, sending lots of hugs and prayers for you all. Sounds like she was very blessed to have such a wonderful caring group of friends

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    1. thanks so much Katidids. your hugs and prayers are very welcome right now - we are doing ok but some of our friends are hurting badly. i think that everyone who lives in our 2 communities is blessed - blessed to have everyone. as are we. thank you again.

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  20. I'm so sorry, my friends. God bless you for the help you gave her. Big hug.

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    1. dear sweet one...thank you so much. we appreciate and need the hug!

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  21. What a sad ending to a nice day :( How nice though that she had so many folks who were there for her.Sending you a hug.....

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    1. Donna it was a sad ending and we had had such a wonderful day. and as PracticalP said above - it was good that she went quickly and in her own home surrounded by people she loved. thank you for the hug - it's needed!

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  22. ((kymber)) I'm so sorry - that sounds like a pretty emotional evening/morning. I'd be shaken up too! I'm glad that you and your man are now home safe and sound.....get plenty of rest and take are of yourselves. xo- michele

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  23. Hi you 2. I'm catching up on reading after the long weekend. I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal. It was very moving to read about. The circle of life is real. It's jarring to our realities when it affects us. I hope you are feeling okay. Another phone call is in order, I think. Take care.













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